Hello, how are you? No seriously, how are you?

Today I am disturbed by the volume of perfunctory engagement we humans have with each other. Case in point, a colleague in the office I work in just addressed a fellow employee:

'Hi Jane, alright?'

'Oh hi Lou, I'm ok thank- oh he's gone' (embarrassed giggle)

Now this is viewed as quite a common, natural even, exchange in a busy-busy-oh-so-busy office but I think it's odious. Really I do.

People ask how you are without giving a shit and, even worse, people respond knowing that person doesn't give a shit yet put themselves through it in order to conform to damn social norms. I refuse to engage in conversation with anyone who is either looking at their FUCKING PHONE or has glazed over. I mean it, I will just say 'oh you're not listening, forget it' to which they reply 'no, no I am you were saying (then they are able to recall the last word you said which proves nothing other than that they have ears and short term memory)'. This sounds like I am desperate for attention, that I WANT TO BE LISTENED TO BECAUSE I HAVE GREAT THINGS TO SAY, in a way that's true, we all want to be heard if we feel we have something worth saying but fundamentally I just get really really annoyed when people choose to engage with me then proceed to mentally check out. Why have you asked me out for a drink? Is it to tick the part of this weeks list that says 'Do something sociable this week, don't just go to work then lie on the settee as this makes you look boring/you're wasting your oh so short life?'

I'm not saying we all have to live our lives staring deeply into the eyes of everyone we meet addressing them with the utmost sincerity as a means of creating a connection and therefore reminding each other that you do exist; it sounds great but who has the time? What I am saying, I think, is stop fucking asking each other how we are whilst tapping away on laptops or leaving the room before having the chance to response. It's humiliating and infuriating to think that a photocopier is worthy of more attention, especially if it's only printing a spreadsheet that keeps records of all the other spreadsheets you need to maintain for your boss who will never actually read them.

That is all.