We were chatting about an upcoming assignment and I mentioned how French sociologist Jean Baudrillard used the fantasy of having sex with identical twins in relation to his work on simulacra and simulation. A student I've not known very long suggested that it's all just about sex really and that academics are just like the rest of us (who knew?): driven by sexuality (not necessarily my opinion). Another student who I know particularly well concurred and joked about my naivety when it comes to befriending (male) lecturers; something about them genuinely wanting to talk to me but ultimately being driven by their libidos. Again, I'm putting it 'nicely'. What followed was cackles and hypothetical scenarios that were both rude and derogatory to all involved. And they wonder why I look elsewhere for conversation (this, of course, is not true of all my student friends. I'd say around 3 of them are friends of mine).
After advising the group that I talk to particular lecturers because of shared interests (music, books, film, food, etc) and that I have never once felt targeted for anything else they calmed down a bit. I understand that within the banter of a few beers after class this sort of thing is to be expected if you admit to associating with the Others: the 'tweed wearers'. You know: blow job = A grade and as vile and disrespectful as this was to me, as a student, and to the integrity of academia I accept that this sort of lecturer/student mythology exists. This doesn't mean I like it though, in fact, it really winds me up because I have worked at my education with a passion and dedication I didn't know existed in me and have earned every one of those grades. But, yes this kind of ribbing does go on, especially if you're the one doing well.
What really wounded me was when another student said, quite nonchalantly: 'it is all a bit weird though'. As if it were immoral, icky even, that I, a human being with particular interests, have conversations and connections with other human beings with similar interests. The 'confession' that I have also had lunch with lecturers was met with bemused faces and 'well what does your husband think of that?' Of what, me having lunch and discussing my thoughts on the counter-hegemonic practices of the Goth sub-culture? Not a lot as it's not really his area of interest.
Given that I do enjoy delving a little deeper into social interactions and what they may be saying about the individual or indeed society, I could really go to town on this and observe what may be afoot, both from my perspective and my fellow students. But then I decided not to bother because I've better things to do and what the others in my group were suggesting is just as banal as it has always been: lecturers are all sex-mad predators and us students are either vulnerable or out to exploit the situation for a decent grade. Yawn! It didn't surprise me to discover that they didn't bat an eyelid when I mentioned that I regularly email and speak to a female lecturer in the 'real' world too. I can befriend an academic as long as it's a female of the species? Again, yawn.
THE END.
I love this post.
ReplyDeleteI rarely find that mature students follow the same mindset as straight-from-school ones in terms of finding a middle ground with lecturers though. Mature students tend to be more confident in their own thoughts and feelings, and can therefore deal with encountering a lecturer on an intellectual level. Younger students, however, tend to prefer (clearly not always the case *points at self*) to make their 'superior' more human and instead of bringing themselves to that level by reading and researching, they merely sexualise him/her (usually a male though).
I have a friend (who I'm sure is actually/has been in a lecture of yours) who sets out to make a very nice lecturer feel uncomfortable by wearing little clothing and drawing his attention to it. She also asks him questions of a personal nature which he seems to avoid quite skilfully.
It's very frustrating for those of us who might actually have some deeper interest but may be tarred with the same brush and labelled 'to be avoided'.